Thursday, July 31, 2008

Whimsical Free Verse Poetry


Villain by Ujjwal Dey
Joker is a villain
Joker kills people
I don't like villains
I do like Jokes


My Subscription by Ujjwal Dey
Aeon loves Science Fiction
Aeon likes Magazines
I love Science Fiction
Now I steal Aeon's mail


The Writer by Ujjwal Dey
A writer writes, always
Writers get published mostly
I want to be a writer
I want to get published always


My Idiot Box by Ujjwal Dey
TV has nothing good on it
Good shows get cancelled
I stay up late watching
Nothing good shows up

Toady by Ujjwal Dey
I slapped the toad
He ran away
I slapped the bitch
The bitch stays

{Reference: toady (noun) - A person who tries to please someone in order to gain a personal advantage}


Necronomicon Bereaved by Ujjwal Dey
In R'lyeh he exists
sleeping and dreaming with me
Oh Cthulhu I wish for thee
to arise from the sea
The world sleeps and dreams
while the nightmare plays
across vast residencies
they need death to be in peace

Breakdown by Ujjwal Dey
In this, of her deep despair
She yearns for tools and spares
It's a hole in her Soul that
No grease-monkey can repair

The Big Waste By Ujjwal Dey
Another dollar, another day
I will holler, when I have a say
The kitten has slurped the spider
A roadkill past a hard rider

Death they said was the beginning
Unending bliss is too frightening
I cower now under shells of advert
Is cosy yet blissful under her skirt

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Hostel : tourism was never more fascinating

Holy %^@$%^# ! ! !

Just saw the movie "Hostel"

Uptill now I thought that the worst thing to happen to a tourist would be -
  • stealing his kidneys or
  • human trafficking in sex trade (for female tourists, only ? )
  • or hate crime against minorities.

But this is mindblowing stuff.

And it actually seems more profitable thing to do to a tourist than the above three.

Tarantino doesnot disappoint. He has been successful now as Producer for quite some time. I am looking forward to his Biker movie also as Producer - Hell Ride - the trailer is good.

Back to Hostel - of course such a violent movie would never reach Indian shores, at least not in its entirety. So thanks to internet got to see the uncut explicit gore.

I was able to have my lunch right after watching the movie - so maybe I don't believe such a thing could happen or I know its a Fiction Movie or maybe I am just too coldblooded (which is not who I want to be).

But it is a plausible premise - it surely could happen to any tourist in any damned nation such as Slovakia.

True to being an American HERO - the guy tries to save the other victim - cliched but it works well in what follows.

Anyways, I can't wait to see the 2nd Hostel movie.
Eli Roth is known now for making small budget movies that gross millions and millions at the box office - got to applaud the guy for his writing and direction. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eli_Roth )

Certainly not a family movie or something your girlfriend would sit through.

Tips: I think watching it alone made it scarier for me :-(

I am never leaving this country - ever - Damn those Euro trash ! ! ! >:-(

Here is a look at some horror posters all in one page:
http://www.jmshop.net/premium/horror3.html
http://www.jmshop.net/premium/horror.html

Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Favor : Our privilege really

This is a spellbinding book really. In a third person narrative, we get a deep insight into the ordinary life turned extraordinary. Tim Biddle is someone that I and many others can associate with, sympathise with and ultimately feel horror from. This is a very good protagonist and all we can do to help him is really turn the pages to learn from his mistakes. Or are they mistakes at all? We go about our mundane routines, just like him, ignorant of our own hunger for a lifestyle we admire from distance everyday.

What makes it gripping is the unfolding plot as woven by master of gritting fiction – Mark SaFranko. From the first day Biddle realises how easy it is for people to walk all over him, till the day he knows they have been dealt with, the story is thrilling in its psychology and pathos.

He refuses once to listen to his own conscience, which he has begun to associate with his low self-esteem, and is spun in a downward spiral that changes his own view of himself and probably everyone else’s as well.

There are many wonderful writers trying to keep alive the now ancient art of “hardluck stories”. But in a world where publishers dread good fiction and the future of short stories is not present, these authors fight a losing battle, ironically, much as Tim Biddle does in this brilliant novel. So if you, like me, find no attraction towards juvenile stories of codes in Da Vinci paintings and magical wizards in schools with demons – get out there and get acquainted with fiction as it was always supposed to be. Not a larger-than-life fantasy – but a story that might as well be true. Fiction is meant to arouse emotions and it was meant to relate to the reader’s life. Something you know is true in those chapters; you are just wishing it is not.

SaFranko writes like that about ordinary events in ordinary life that have unexpected consequences; just as you may face today or day after tomorrow.

The characters are strong and you might as well point out someone you know as fitting the description of these fictional people. The book’s 21 chapters divided into 3 parts will churn every emotion in you as a man (Gave me sleepless nights dreading my own humdrum existence).

I bought a signed, numbered copy of this book and treasure it like no other. I wish I could tell the world what they are missing, tell publishers how arrogantly stupid they are in their choice of authors they promote and publish these days. But maybe it’s only a matter of time when readers of fiction will tire of the trite, self-congratulating, fantastical Disneyland fiction that wants to be politically correct and impose this mentality on generations of readers, brainwashing them into believing that the crap advertised and marketed is gold which is what literature is all about.

So if you have reached this page/ paragraph, you already know that there is better writing out there than what you see being sold in corporate bookshelves and major publishing campaigns.

Do yourself a “Favor” and read literature instead of eye-candy.

http://www.murderslim.com/marksafranko.html

Saturday, July 19, 2008

No Joke : The Dark Knight is the best


WHOA !!! WHAT AN AWESOME MOVIE !

The movie released yesterday here (Friday) and the first thing I did waking up this morning was to mosey down to the multiplex and buy a ticket to the first show today at 10:40 AM (well actually I brushed my teeth as the first thing...)


INCREDIBLE ACTION and DRAMA.

My favourite Batman movie uptill now was Batman Forever because I loved Val Kilmer as Batman and it was entertaining and more polished movie than the Michael Keaton ones.

Bale as Batman in Batman Begins was probably the best comeback for a franchise after the stupid Clooney / Arnie mess that left fans and critics appalled at how much money someone can flush down a drain - willingly at that !


OF COURSE - everyone has said it and I WILL repeat it - Heath Ledger is the man who makes this Batman come to LIFE again.

His craziness is incredible - if Jack Nicholson was younger - I would want to see him in this screenplay's version of the Joker - but I sure am glad Ledger did what he did before he went on to a bigger production in the sky.


Aaron Eckhart - I loved him in "Thank You for Smoking" - and again, like Heath Ledger (as Joker), he has filled the shoes very well of a genius actor who played Harvey Dent before him - Tommy Lee Jones. Again I feel a younger Tommy Lee with this script (instead of the pop action Batman Forever script) would have done incredibly well.


But well wishes aren't horses and this is easily a very well written movie and brought to life by a great cast of actors.


Morgan Freeman isn't entirely wasted and he has some say in Batman's conscience. The Chinese mob accountant had just enough screen time and not more. I would have liked to have more of Caine but the final banter of him with Bruce Wayne when Batman's identity is at stake is very witty and refreshing in the fast-paced action.


For a movie well over 2 hours, it played and flowed smoothly - nothing that I would like to be done differently - it managed its pace very well.


Funnily enough on Friday I had watched Magnum Force - Dirty Harry movie no.2 - also about a vigilante bumping off criminals.


The plot of this movie is done very well. Just like in the Spiderman movie where the citizens show they are indeed upright and righteous - here too we get a glimpse of respect for humanity itself.

Well before I fawn too much and spill beans that would ruin the movie for ya - just go watch it - I am waiting for the DVD release.

:)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Wild Chinchoti Run


Wild Chinchoti Run
By Ujjwal Dey


www.ujjwaldey.com

Destination: A Forest

The Trip: To Chinchoti village

All Photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/udey11

First Published: http://www.royalenfield.com/app/IN/trip.asp?sID=18817

Meeting Point:
Fountain Hotel, Thane.
2 AM, 28th June 2008

Group:
Bombay Bikers


Friday 27th June 2008, 1900 hours:

The original plan was to ride on early Friday night for an overnight ride and stay at Koyna Wildlife Sanctuary in Satara. As it seemed, the little job-bound nobodies like me left behind were not going to go too far if there was not a big enough crowd. The major chunk of our Road Warriors were on their way to Ladakh via NH8. So as it was up to me to rouse the lazy heads, and I am pretty lazy myself – I called Sunny on Friday evening to round up a posse for this long ride.

Sunny was at home and expecting Prasad to meet him so I too agreed to drop at his home for the plan. Much loud music was played and we went over the plans for Koyna Sanctuary and knew it was too far and if we didn’t start soon we would not be awake on Saturday to enliven the jungle. Prasad came by soon with his pillion friend Kunal and frantic phone calls were made.

>> Calling Ashok: Ashok was tired and nursing his problematic knee. He admitted he had bowed to parental pressure and will forgo the long ride to Satara. Prasad convinced him that we will ride elsewhere nearer to home and he finally agreed to meet us at Fountain Hotel at 2 AM. And he went to sleep.

>> Calling Nilesh: Nilesh was tired and nursing his brain after having returned from a booze party. He admitted he had no bike since his was lying at the mechanic with the engine opened up for repair. Prasad convinced him as well to come to Fountain Hotel at 2 AM by rickshaw and ride to wherever we would go as a pillion.

>> Calling Varun: Varun answered and tired as he was told us he was going to a temple – this at 10 PM Friday night. Prasad enquired further and Varun said he had crashed his new Bullet behind a tractor and the tractor’s oil box was damaged, not to mention his bike’s front fork. Anyways Prasad tried to convince him that he could come as pillion to our midnight excursion. Now the bomb – Varun said he was at Ahmedabad on the way to Ladakh with the Bombay Bikers gang – LOLz. Later we learnt his bike was fixed and he would continue on to Ladakh.

Other calls were made and tentative ride promises collected.

The small group was hungry so we rode to R Mall and ate at Pizza Hut racking up a bill of Rs 1000 for 4 people. Here Kunal had the idea of packing oregano from the Pizza Hut and taking it along for flavouring on our ride. So we half-emptied the oregano powder in a plastic bag and off we went to Sunny’s home for passing time till our 2 AM rendezvous.

The four of us at Sunny’s home watched a KungFu movie and finally I said lets ride.

Prasad suggested Chinchoti forest which is very near and comes even before Manor on Thane Ghodbunder Highway towards Surat.

So we rolled now and it drizzled lightly. First stop was in the opposite direction for the ATM. Sunny wanted to get cash and of course after we got there told us he left his purse at home. So we waited there and Prasad and I refuelled at the petrol pump opposite the ATM. Soon we were on the road and hit Thane and rode on towards Ghodbunder Road.


Saturday 28th June 2008, 0200 hours, Fountain Hotel:

We reached Fountain Hotel a little past 01 AM. We got inside and ordered coffee and made more phone calls. Ashok was awakened again and Nilesh couldn’t get a rickshaw at that hour so Prasad and Sunny went towards Dahisar check naka to pick him up. Kunal and I passed time around the hotel. We were entrusted to source booze for the jungle stay. But none was available here and everything was shut shop.

Soon Nilesh joined us and told us he got the rickshaw. Now we wondered what was taking Sunny and Prasad so long as they had been informed of this event. So we called them and entrusted them with getting the booze while they were in Mumbai.

Kunal, Nilesh and I feasted on eggs now. Soon Sunny and Prasad reached as well and we feasted more. Then finally past 3:00 AM Ashok reached and ordered more food over our egg orders. I tried one meaty piece reluctantly and asked, “Is this chewing gum...”. Damn mutton pieces were more like chewing wet rubber.

Soon we decided that Chinchoti forest was where we wanted to go. But we will need swimming trunks as we intended to go to the waterfall deep inside the forest.

Of course no cloth shops were open at this hour either.

So we rolled. Traffic was sparse and there was no rain. I cruised on my Bullet Electra 4s at a leisurely pace – after all the destination was just 20 KMs away and less. We planned to spend the few remaining hours till dawn in a dhabaa, sleeping to rest ourselves. So we began hunting dhabaas. We went past Vasai and there was no dhabaa with a charpai (bed) in sight. We stopped at a shop open for business and got the swimming trunks. Now we rolled and went past the right turn to Chinchoti village in search of a decent dhabaa, towards Manor.

Soon we parked at one where trucks had parked in wet slimy mud. Here we feasted again on eggs and tea and lassi. Ashok tried to sleep inspite of the mosquitoes. Prasad and Nilesh and Sunny rolled on towards Manor to find a better place so we could be more comfortable. Kunal slept like a log – he had not slept for over 2 days now.

I chatted with the dhabaa staff and passed time teasing a kitten there and smoking cigarettes.

Soon the away team got back and they ate more. I did not eat at this dhaaba and only had 2 cups of tea. The place is not as bad as some of the places we have crashed but in the monsoon I preferred to take precaution over where and what I eat. Waking up Kunal with some effort we headed back towards Chinchoti.


Saturday 28th June 2008, 0700 hours, Chinchoti:

We took the small thin road towards Chinchoti village. The mud was slippery and we went on slowly into the village. Here we found a home of a willing guide and parked our 4 bikes at his doorstep. We left our helmets at his home.

The guide was getting ready for a hunting trip and was heading into the forest so accommodated us in his plans. Kunal and I went on at his brisk pace through mud, stones and shite, uphill. Ashok, Sunny, Nilesh and Prasad were slow and we waited again and again for them to catch up.

Finally it was me and Kunal with the guide at a fork with 2 paths – one uphill into the Chinchoti predatory forest and one downhill to the waterfall. The guide said just follow the arrows marked on rocks straight down and that he would continue to his hunting. I paid him Rs 100 as thanks and sat down with Kunal waiting for the gang. Nilesh joined us soon and Kunal told us exciting narrative of the movie “The Hostel” and its sequel.

Soon 2 couples went past us towards the waterfall and other villagers went on – all telling us that yes there are bikers on their way.

When after 40 minutes the remainder group showed up we hiked again. Now Kunal and I kept a brisk pace and once he drank a can of beer he disappeared far ahead with a surge of energy.

I was too far ahead to wait for the rest and kept walking. Soon I could hear nothing in front or back and I wondered if I was lost in this jungle.

Nothing kept me company than monster zebra-coloured mosquitoes in that filthy muddy trail. They stung pretty badly and killing them was easy as they got stuck to my sweaty skin.

After 30 minutes of waiting here amid insects I decided to head back. Within minutes I found the rear group strolling towards me. They named my description of those damn mosquitoes – “zebquito”. With my insight into linguistics we were able to rename them “mosbra” – sounded exciting.

We saw crabs, frogs and ant hills on the way. Plenty of photographs were taken by Ashok’s camera. I didn’t bring my electronics due to the monsoon – I was armed with only my rain jacket which was getting irritating to drag along in this heat and humidity. Now I strolled through the trail with them at their pace and reached the damned waterfall at last.


Saturday 28th June 2008, 1030 hours, Chinchoti forest waterfall:

It took us 3 and half hours to commute till this waterfall, while the guide had said 30 minutes by his pace.

Carefully navigating through slippery rocks we undressed and got into the swimming gear and into the water. The cool water was refreshing, not too hot nor cold. We all were very much energetic in there and it did not seem like we were men who had not slept in 24 hours. Kunal now for the second time climbed to the apex of the waterfall. I was satisfied being wet and sat on a rock in the middle of that pond underneath the waterfall. Ashok who still had problems with the knee and still managed to hike so far, also managed to get to the water. He got busy catching tiny fish for his aquarium. Popping out of the water caused monster flies to sting us – yes flies that stung. So we stayed in the water.

Soon the booze was out and drunkards played in the pool.

Nilesh kept getting phonecalls from his boss on the mobile phone. Finally at 11:45 AM he said he needs to be back at office. I said I will give him a ride home and called it quits as well. I wanted to get home before I was sleepy and before any rainfall or nightfall. With the way the remaining four pranced in the water I was sure they would not get out before dusk.

So at 11:55 AM Nilesh and I set towards the village. We walked fast uphill and downhill as Nilesh pacified his Boss on the mobile phone. I wanted to rest midway but as soon as we stopped the “mosbras” attacked. So we kept going. Soon we traced our route back to the village.

We told the guide’s relative at his home that the others will come later and that we will leave now. I got my helmet and some water from that home. I was almost breathless but Nilesh kept nagging me to ride.

So we rode and within minutes touched Fountain Hotel. The road towards Fountain Hotel from Chinchoti turn is in bad condition.

By 12:55 PM we were at Dahisar past the check naka and Nilesh wanted to now ride to office and not home. So he took a rickshaw home and I having seen the traffic at the check point on the opposite road decided to stop for lunch.

No decent restaurants in Dahisar but I ate the dog food like a starving pig.

When I headed towards Thane the check point of Dahisar caused me over 30 minutes for 4 KMs commute. Anyways once on Ghodbunder Highway I roared on my Bullet till I reached Mulund and then through the afternoon traffic to home by 2 PM on Saturday.

The Chinchoti drunkards returned by dusk.

Photos eagerly awaited but the nomads with the camera are still travelling somewhere so check back at the link for a later upload.

**** THE END ****

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Matt Helm series : Review Book Two


Matt Helm series Reviews by Ujjwal Dey

Mission Two: The Wrecking Crew


Well the first one is beaten to grit and grim by this second one in the series. A little longer at 176 pages, still an easy read for my weekend; this one brings Helm into a whole new line of action in espionage business.

Now Matt Helm has had his refresher course in the covert groups training – the American Mordgruppe – The Wrecking Crew – an unknown, unspoken elite group of operatives who generally work alone to do what armies and clouts of bureaucrats can’t achieve. The man is just right for the job. The trainers believe he is in no shape to be an operative and certainly past his prime. His bad new resume was certain to get him killed on a field mission. Mac agrees – he is just the man for this job.

Matt Helm now has to play dumb; to act like a clumsy ancient World War trooper who can’t call the shots in this peacetime covert warfare. As a photographer for an American magazine he lands up in Artic Europe to shoot innocent bland photos of mines for a girl who could be a double-agent or simply a fool in this foolish game. The girl in question has survived a bullet meant for her journalist husband who had the gall to write a tale describing a Russian agent – The Man No one Knows. Of course this deadly Russian operative has no sympathy for such breakthrough journalism, and now the supposed widow is carrying out her husband’s journalistic inclinations.

There is more than meets the eye and pretty women are lethal in more ways than one. Helm’s contact in Sweden is shot dead in the face, double-crossed by her evil mysterious agent. Helm has to contend with getting bruised and bashed around to prove himself harmless to a variety of operatives – biding his time to get his orders.

Yes, the men in Washington call off lethal action – no Government ordered assassination during peacetime – but that is not a restriction upon Helm’s enemies. Matt Helm goes through unraveling intricacies in the players’ cards, as a poker player who has to display ignorance of any known card game. As people show up dead around him, things come to light and when the final game is afoot – Matt has the aces up his sleeve to vindicate Mac’s faith in him.

The violence is as bad if not worse than the first book – which is a good thing in any gritty espionage thriller. The brief reflections on the first book events such as him carving up an old lady friend and his separation from his wife also come up very much accurately into the new plot. His handiness without a gun is seen very well in this story as essentially he has to go out there unarmed to convincingly play the role of an American photographer, even if the cover doesn’t fool his targets.

The geographical descriptions and accuracy in detail is wonderful and you can imagine yourself tracing his trail across the mountains and into wilderness in the Arctic. He has to “make the touch” – Group M speak for killing the target – similar to what mafia would say “making a hit”. But he has to be patient enough to identify the mysterious Russian spy, wait for the go ahead from his Boss, and then make sure he does it cleanly – being in a friendly country during peacetime.

Putting up a classy display of ineptness, we also get to read about all that he could have done as a master agent but doesn’t to keep himself useful to the Russian agent – he is able to prove himself harmless on more than one occasion until finally its time for a showdown.

Cars, guns, women’s choice of clothes, all again feature in this sequel in Matt Helm’s ponderings. There are women he trusts and they assuredly betray him and Helm is not one to be heartbroken or sentimental – he goes about his business with determination and calculation – even surprising his own Government’s other operatives (of other departments) – who fall for his “clumsy” act. At the end Helm proves himself to be as cunning and ruthless as his Russian rival. The climax action with its cold-blooded moves sees Helm make his touch and save a damsel from distress as well. The last chapter adds more to Helm’s personality and legend. His un-emotive demeanour at what could have been a tragic romantic scene ensures he is the man with a job he is good at.

If you thought gadgets and expensive machinery with latest guns was the way an agent wins a war – you have watched too many James Bond movies. This book’s account shows us in a believable and clinical clarity how a secret agent would go through with his mission in a foreign country. Matt Helm is no great fist-fighter but he knows how to fight and here we see him use more of the matter between his ears in contrast to the trigger in enemy hands.

Extract: When you act like a nice guy, everyone examines your motives with a microscope. When you act like a conscienceless louse, they generally take you at face value.

****

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Matt Helm series : Review Book One


Matt Helm series Reviews by Ujjwal Dey

Mission One: Death of a Citizen


Donald Hamilton is celebrated mainly for his long running series on the adventures of secret agent Matt Helm. After reading so much about it I prayed it would be as good as it sounds.

Well it is. I bought the first 18 books in the series from EBay and they look good. I mean for such old out-of-print books, the binding was perfect and they were in best condition with only the pages getting yellowed with time. Of course pulp fiction was printed on pulp so I am very happy with this small collection I was able to grab online.

The first book is what I started my reading with and it is awesome. The agent is retired from the killing “line of business” and happily into a quaint family lifestyle with friends in a quiet township. He writes novels now on cowboys and Indians. He is happy or so he wants to believe. Then the past strolls in, in a pretty black party dress.

From the first chapter to the last 31st chapter, this book is a thrilling page-turner. You go through Matt Helm’s emotions and decisions first hand with the book being written in first person perspective of this gritty, determined and skilled protagonist. The man doesn’t want to be dragged out of his comfort. He laid the beast inside him to sleep and now some people are creating a racket that will wake him up. Matt’s reactions are entirely believable and though the results of his reactions are shocking you will read on to know they were entirely logical. The story flows smoothly as Matt walks in or rather cruises in his Chevy truck towards deep end of the filth during peacetime.

Yes, the War is long over, 15 years ago; but the battle rages on with trained lethal agents executing their plans to dismantle American progress in technology. Helm is joined in by a mysterious past comrade who was also a love interest. But Helm never forgets who he is now – married with 3 kids and a respectable position in society. Soon as a dead body is discovered Helm realises who he really is. Has he gone soft? Has he still got what it takes to wage covert war? The chapters unfold revealing intricacies not just of the plot but also of Helm’s past. He has come a long way to wash his memory of blood spilled in the line of duty but the enemy isn’t dead and Helm is the man with that ability to snuff out threats.

The whole novel comes together very well towards the last 5 to 7 chapters. Actually from Chapter 16 I didn’t put it down and read it to finish. At 142 pages, with its easy language, it is not at all a challenge. There are other interesting things on modern cars (1960 of course), the Apaches and Red Indians, the Old West, the guns and you would be surprised at the depth of information garnered by Donald Hamilton to author this book and build character of Matt Helm. And it works, that is why the first book didn’t stop there and there are so many of Helm’s adventures and missions to read about.

I won’t talk about the action so as to not give away the plot and ruin it for you. Other interesting mentions would be how he feels about women and women in pants and women in dresses. His brief encounter with his lovely wife at his own home after returning from the Amos Darrel’s party will get you in the mood for more shocking things to come early on. It definitely carved in my mind the image of Helm as the ruthless war machinery that he is. We get other descriptions too to shape the personality of Matt Helm.

On the writing itself, I found that Donald Hamilton makes excessive, noticeable use of the phrase “I’d” but it does add to Helm’s character in a way. Otherwise it is a flawless action packed cult novel series and you should definitely start at the beginning by reading this one.

Mac, who was Helm’s old Boss during War is back and Helm is getting back in fighting form. This story will haunt you if not make you restless with its cruelty.

Extract: She added, "Washington is the city of the soft heads and the chicken hearts."

****