Lounge of the Lazy Mind
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Holiday Season Laziness Preparation Kit
Resident Lazy Guru Ujjwal Dey prescribes and scribes
Avoiding Housework - for Men :
1. Pretend you are having a harrowing time at office - carry minimum 5 files with corporate jargon to your home to make it convincing
2. Ask for an aspirin immediately after getting home - say stress induced headache - Aspirin is healthy to take once in a day so no problems
3. Kiss your wife when she least expects it and say you miss the good old times - now relax on the sofa and let her make herself useful
4. Tell the children gifts may not be so easy to get this year with the economy recession - show them photos of worried Wall Street execs on the newspaper - they will be too sad to make noise and demand playtime
5. Tell the wife she does a great job and how you could never nurture the plants or polish glass/ wood to such perfection and how you can't even make a boiled egg or bowl of cereal. Then Thank her. Then pretend interest in how she does it and let her do it while you watch the gardening, cleaning, cooking from your favourite couch
Avoiding Housework - for Women :
1. Say you love another woman
2. Say you want another baby so that your hubby can rediscover his Love for parenting/ playing with children
3. Say you are so helpless without "a Man around the house"
4. Wear a revealing lacy dress and say you are too tired for the chores but maybe if they got done "we could spend some quality time" - then go to sleep while he is busy working his butt off with the chores
5. Pretend to cry due to overwhelming work - but ensure there is no beer or other alcohol in the house - then he can't run out on you and can't get drunk at home - compromise and make him promise to do half your chores for at least a month
Now take a deep breath and feel the Languid Nirvana fill your soul.
ZZZZZzzzzz
Copyright 2008 Ujjwal Dey
